Putting the Faith in Interfaith Marriage
By Alan Shore
It's a scenario we're seeing more and more frequently. Two young people fall in love-one Jewish, the other not. Neither of them has an attachment to any religious tradition or belief. Since no one else in either family seems to mind particularly, except a stray grandparent here and there, they overlook this seemingly insignificant matter, and the marriage is made. For a while, all goes well.
After a bit, along come children. Mama and Papa have matured somewhat by this time, and perhaps for the first time, they ask the question, "What are we going to raise the children as?" For some reason, this "insignificant" matter has grown into an issue of major importance.
At the Crossroads
The choices boil down to only four: nothing at all; his; hers; or else an unknown alternative, as yet to be discovered.
For many, nothing at all is an attractive choice. It takes away the burden of decision making and avoids a potentially costly conflict.
"Let the children make up their own minds," is the comforting slogan many parents fall back on, as they follow the path of least resistance.
The only trouble is that no choice is, in fact, a choice.
Parents who think they are "respecting their children's freedom" by withholding religious training are deluding themselves.
In absence of religious training is every bit as much a statement of faith as is any other upbringing-only the faith being taught to children in this instance is a vacuum rather than a Presence.
What about the other choices? His faith, or hers? It's a funny quirk of human nature, but have you ever noticed how something you've never valued suddenly becomes valuable when you're asked to give it up? Many parents are simply unwilling to make the sacrifice of choosing to abandon even the slightest religious upbringing, for reasons they themselves would be hard-pressed to explain.
Another Alternative
There is a better way. Often-almost in spite of themselves-parents become aware of spiritual need not only in their children's lives, but also in their own.
An intermarriage between a Jew and a Gentile need look no further for unity than in the message of the Bible-that a Jewish Messiah would one day come to bind both Jew and Gentile together.
The profound truth is that God's promise of the Jewish Messiah, foretold in the prophetic writings of the Hebrew Scriptures, is fulfilled in the writings of the New Covenant.
When Jewish and non-Jewish spouses come to see this together, their respective backgrounds come vividly alive, and blend into something that is far greater than the sum of the parts.
In this way, an interfaith marriage that began with no particular faith at all becomes a marriage of one true faith. Through faith in Messiah, the best of both backgrounds may remain, because both people are in the process of being continually transformed by the loving presence of God.
"Lead me in your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation." (Psalm 25:5)
