Six Success Strategies for Intermarried Couples
By Scott Brown
Cultivate a Biblical View of Intermarriage
The union of Jews and Gentiles seems to be high on the list of God's priorities! In the first book of the Torah, God promises to make Abraham, the first Hebrew patriarch, the father of many "goyim" (Gentile nations). The Hebrew prophet Isaiah wrote that God would join Jews and Gentiles to create a "house of prayer for all nations." In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul (a religious Jew) wrote to Gentile congregations in Ephesus and Rome about a "mystery." God would one day knit together Jews and Gentiles into one unified body. In other words, the marriage of a Jew and a Gentile has the potential of demonstrating God's eternal purposes.
Discover your Common Ground
Dig around the roots of Christianity, and you'll discover something amazing: they're Jewish! All of the first followers of Jesus were Jews who worshipped at the Temple in Jerusalem. Observant Jews celebrated the first Christian communion at a Passover Seder table. Baptism emerged from Judaism's mikveh (ritual bath). The entire New Testament was written by Jews, except for one author, who was likely a Gentile proselyte to Judaism. Your name may be Rosenstein or O'Reilly, but your spiritual roots are likely situated on common ground!
Celebrate the Heritage of Intermarriage
Moses married the daughter of a Midianite priest. King David and Jesus are both descended from the Jewish heroine, Ruth, who was not Jewish at all. These and other marriages between Jews and Gentiles are nowhere condemned in the Bible, but form a wellspring of rich cultural heritage. In fact, the only intermarriages which the Old and New Testaments view negatively are those which include the worship of false gods.
Skip the "Hanukkah Bush" Routine
The jury's in on this one: "blending traditions" still doesn't work, so don't waste your time. Eventually, the novelty of celebrating everything in sight wears away, leaving a trail of offended in-laws, and children who are confused and skeptical at best and, at worst, completely turned off.
Find Out if the Problem is the Problem
Take some time out to do some serious thinking. Discover the real issues. Ask yourself, "What's at the root of my religious conflicts with my spouse?" Some mistake fear, selfishness, pride or lack of trust for "religious incompatibility." In other words, what you think is the problem may not be the problem.
Think of your Children's Children
Your kids are not only smart, they're spiritual. And they deserve a spiritual heritage that is more substantive and enduring than mere symbols and holidays. They deserve a spiritual reality; a relationship with the Living God; the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The problem is, you can't give them what you yourself don't have.
Thousands of intermarried couples have discovered something that has changed the course of their lives. It is possible to be fully united in one faith in one God without either spouse relinquishing their Jewish or Christian heritage. A faith that has the Jewish Messiah as its focus has room for both. Best of all, it provides a spiritual legacy for your children that will transform them, too.
